Leaving Thoughts

Hi all,

After being gone for two weeks at Fiddle Camp I returned home with the knowledge that I will be leaving again for a very long time.  It made me realize how much I appreciate this land, house, family, and community with which I have lived for so many years.  I am trying to soak up as much of my wonderful life as I can in the week before Kroka rather than daydream about the days ahead because the future is inevitable while the present tries to slip through my fingers like sand.

What a turning point this is in my life.  In a week I will be leaving my home behind to explore our incredible world, traveling far away from the life I have known, having experiences unlike anything I have experienced before.  I will be leaving my home for a new home, leaving my family for a new family of Kroka staff and students. I will be living with this family for four months, being cared for when I am sick, something my parents have done all my life.  I am finally leaving the incredibly nurturing nest in which I have been raised and am venturing out into the tangled jungle of life. 

It is hard to comprehend what a dramatic change this trip will be; my longest time away from home jumping from 3 weeks to 4 months.  My mind is a crazy whirl of emotions, thoughts and feelings; excitement for Kroka; love for my family; love for all my friends--old and new; exhaustion from two weeks of Fiddle Camp; satisfaction for life; love of my home and the familiar; mental preparation and acceptance for my departure from the familiar people, places and everything that has been my life for the past 11 years.  As confusing as my emotions are, none of them are telling me to stay.  They all unify into an awareness of what I am leaving, of what it means to be leaving my childhood behind.  I am ready for this adventure and I feel positive that this is the right path for me to take.

Clayton